A Light in the Dark

The most important person V?

We’re running through the fields, on my horse. It’s beautiful out. The halfling is on his dog.
Clouds roll in.
Thunder roars.
The halfling is gone! What’s going on?! Oh god spiders are all over me! My horse is a spider?!? What?! Oh god webs everywhere. It’s going dark!

I hear noise. What’s happening? The webs ripped open. It’s a vampire! He’s a bat with a human head?! What the shit!?!?!! Oh god I’m being bit.
I kill the spiders! Yes! They squeal and beg for mercy! I give none. I enslave them all. I am now king of all. I feel good.
They bring me baby’s. They’re tasty. Jeeves yells at me from his cage. He’s unhappy but alive. Yay.
Something’s wrong.

Jern Staalbred: Journal - Pt 4
Dances and Draconics

Lessons are over. Vereth was sent off to play merchant with Maximorgue’s leftovers. Reverse merchant? Either way. Scraps for cash. Guess I get to play nanny with the sleepy baby-nibbler. Spend some more time working on my Draconic. God this language is phallic.

After an hour or so, Vereth comes back, with presents. He got me a rock suit. Identical to the one I’ve been wearing for the last decade or so. Good taste that one. His ward less so. Bats. Twat.

He got Dannik a bird suit. By the stone I hope I never understand why.

The evening approaches, and after getting dressed in our whatnots, we sod off.

The Masquerade! We get inside. Shinies and explosions, cause Batmorgue wants to make an impression. Everyone looks disgusted with him. Mission successful.

I take my leave of the lot to make my rounds, greetings, general niceties.

While I’m gone, hookings up, and dances have. Much interesting, so wiggle. It’s a shame I’m not there to report on the going ons.

Head over to the confectionary table, as I figure some snacks will keep Princess Floofy Pants happy. I also opt to fashion her a little mask and dress from the wrappers. Apparently she’s keen on that.

What the hell is wrong with me.

As I made my way towards the bar, Elta came over and questioned the ecoutrements. I explained Princess Floofy Pants and the rest of the situation, and introduced Dannik when he came over.

Elta and I spend some time catching up, before I hear the distinct sound of flesh hitting idiot twice. Dennik and the Bat are holding their cheeks, looking confused. I head over.

Maxibro is there, introducing himself to Vivianne. Bellazar Ericson. Unsurprisingly, the bat is making a twat of himself.

His Mum called him by his FULL name. He is in TROOOOOOUUUUUUUUBLE. So is Dennik when he opens his mouth and espouses stupid. Ooh shit, I think Maggsie is scared. He just downed his wine. Like a real person would. Maximom expresses her disdain for the way her spawn are acting in the halls of the King and Queen.

The idiot attempts to attack Vereth, and has his attempt knocked out of the air by his mother.

She hires me on to watch over her idiot. For moneys.

As she’s about to wander off, Batmorgue proclaims his pride in his tattoo. This pleases No one, and she gets in his face about it.

After she leaves, Vereth continues to express disdain, and lashes out at Vivianne? Bugger’s a salty drunk.

I opt for the bathroom, in which I have been writing this. Why have I spent the last 10 minutes in here writing in a journal? Maybe Princess Floofy Pants is having a stronger effect on me then I imagined. She did mention something about my having the soul of a lost sister inside me..

No, she’s just a weapon with a penchant for spouting nonsense. Me writing in a journal and dressing up a warhammer is certainly situational.

It Has to be.

super hero part 2
Its a good day

How did i only make it that far in a drinking contest Like it i was only 5 rounds i can handle more then that, but i guess my hand eye was a little off and i decided to destroy the cup that i was holing…. Not only that i watched the god dwarf lose at drinking. honestly what the hell is going on this human comes and sits in front of us and out drinks the dwarf. Not only that i honestly think she broke her own cup after jern was out just to mess with him. not wise nooooooooot wise if you ask me.

uhhh now im here in a dark depressing room alone…. ha not really brekas in the other room vomiting. All of that aside i wonder whats going to happen after tonight i mean the tournaments over and the banquets about to be over aswell. Im hoping that we can all continue this adventure im getting really sick of this town and iv been wanting to explore to find a few things out my self. Heres to wishing and praying to a new begging


super hero part 1

So some things happend and i feel like i might need to keep track of stuff because of A, I almost died to spiders and B, well ill get to that. So it was a normal night of me and Breka going at it but i think she was trying to Breka me hehe… Anyhow I noticed the guys out side so I decided to join everyone. Everything seemed alright but i was getting A weird feeling from Maximan, not that its unnormal for me to feel that way around him but it was a little different this time.

So after a while of walking this guy dose this earth shattering super person knee landing at this point i think im going to die but thanks to god dwarf I felt pretty safe. After a while of blah blah enjoy what i have placed in your body talk this person just pisses off befor he could teach me how to do what he just did….. not alright in my books but what ever. O and did i say that maxipads a ever loving vampire no!. For a little bit their I just thought he wanted me with those lustful eyes of his but kind of glad it wasn’t that

After all that Bs happend for some reason everyone thought, hey it would be a good idea to turn him back even tho it was gonna be a waste of time….called it, But they tried and failed. Ofcorse after it didn’t work we tried to figure out the next problem of who is he gonna get blood from, i voted the (helper) but nooooo everyone looked at the half ling, so I came up with a better idea. Turns out i was able to recommend a scum bag named Bilum, he was never really catch him in the act but everyone knew he was killing young girls in town.

Jern and the helper decided to stay back while me and maximan went on in, it was for the best me and him can be alot more sneaky . Soon when we got to the window we noticed Bilums true colors so we swooped on in a removed his leg :D. Honestly I dont think we handled the situation their right but it felt good, we really should of took him in but whats in the past is in the past.

After all that we kind of just hung out for a little bit and it was alright but what really happend was the birth of a new story . One that will go back in the history books and thats the legend of the vampire, god dwarf, halfing and the help.

Npc mode journal

i taught, i cleaned, i plotted things and then i slept. no one died so this seems like a good day to me

Vereth Tre’Mar

Jern Staalbred: Journal - Pt 3.5
Remember to never do this again.

The Drinking contest occurs, but I don’t recall anything about it right now. That doesn’t happen often, so it must have gone well. Some other things happen. Things about Waampire making babies and horses cry. Definitely a good start to this whole “No guys, I’ll totes be a GOOD vampire” thing.

Morning came. Got woken up by Vereth slamming on the door. Did not appreciate that. Had to learn to appreciate it pretty quick, as it was time for Dragon talky. Lots of talky. Vrakginas and resdickstaraunts. Draconic is weird.

Talk of eating rats and not eating things that aren’t rats occur. Maximorgue wants us to expose ourselves to him to test his restraint. I’m not keen. Vereth isn’t keen. We’re doing it anyways?

Feed the hammer some candy cause this will NEVER GET OLD.

Just noticed that the next 2 pages of my journal were torn out. Searched for them in my backpack. Kind of wish I hadn’t..

The day of the drinking contest occurs. Spend the morning eating plenty of carbs. We all get sat lined up against each others. Dannik got sat down beside me. Sitting across from Talladam in his splash zone. Made sure my shield was within arm’s reach. Some lady in full plate sits down next to him. Imbibing commences.

Dannik lasts longer’n I expected.

Notice Maximom and Maxidad partaking of the competition, with another lad who looks like them. I point this out to Dannik, who uses his voice in another man to confirm that yeah, Maxibleah has a brother.

More drinks!

More people are fallling out. Light wieghts. Whatever their giving us is pretty tastey.


Hrak an ella ar out of rth compreptinn. HAHA, I”m stillllllllllllllllll fien.,

Magsimomm iss puddig hre familly to shme.

I’ma keep goon tho.

Tha matal ladie mussta bein porin hrs unner aa tabel

Maggsi issssssss dun.

Stillll 7 ohtr ppole ininn tha cobbibntentin.




O wlll.

CALALALEDD the alementress oat onn har ballshet.. SEH SED IAM A PIGGSIE.


The rest of it was completely unintelligible. Now I understand why I can’t remember any of that.

The Most Important Person IV

So a new thing I noticed is that I am incapable of sleeping in. That’s quite annoying, especially with Jeeves’ morning lessons leaving me exhausted afterwards. Oh well I suppose.
I decide to go for a stroll. Jeeves turned down my offer and the dwarf has plans already. I’m on my own it appears.
It appears to not be that way, Jeeves is following me. Apparently I’m untrustworthy. I decide to slip into an alley way and try I scale a building. Tonight is not my night. The rope slips but I catch myself on a window.
My word, she’s absolutely gorgeous. I’m flushed for a second before I compose myself. That’s when she decided to throw crap at me. I apologize to the lovely creature before I attempt sliding down the building.
Tonight is clearly not my night. I go through the window below. There’s an infant crying. I could feed, but Jeeves would literally have my head. Time to leave.
Tonight is not my night. I hit the far wall of the alley. Still adjusting to my strength.
Jeeves clearly saw all of it. We hurry away. I wonder if the lady will be at the ball tomorrow night, oh that’d be splendid. Anywho, back to the important events of the night.
I finally remembered to show Jeeves the items I looted from the bastards who tried to sell me. I have gauntlets that increase my strength. Apparently all of my strength isn’t just my transformation. That’s a tad upsetting but oh well. I also acquired horseshoes that can levitate my horse.
Crap. I have a horse. I should take him out, he must be terribly cooped up in there. I tell Jeeves that I’d like to take my horse out and he agrees. As I walk into the stables, the animals freak out. That’s upsetting, I enjoy animals. Oh good, mine is calm. This will make things easy.
I take him out. I plan for an hour, it is late and I’d rather not push him, but he seems ok so we end up riding for an extra half hour. I put him away and proceed to wander around town.
There are drunks staggering through the streets, but no one seeming to be deserving of death. Where’s the little one when I need him. Ugh. Jeeves would be pissed if I resorted to a homeless man right now. Looks like I’m testing out animals. Joy.
Tonight is not my night. I found a rat. My god it was fucking disgusting. I’d rather slit my own throat than do that again. Wait… I could slit my throat now. Hmmm, I wonder if I could pull out my own heart. Now these are the important questions. Where was I, oh yes. Rats are terrible. I need to learn to control myself around blood, that way homeless people wouldn’t have to die, I’d simply mix something together to knock them out, then bleed them an bandage them up. I’m stronger than them so it would have to be a recipe that barely puts them out so as to not effect me.
Perhaps Jeeves will help.
Morning class again. My god this is rough. But the dwarf appears worse so I’ve got that at least. I manage to tell Jeeves that we need chains before I sleep.
Ahhhh sleep.
Wait. The balls tonight. Bah, Jeeves knows what I’d like to wear, he’s always been there. He’s a good friend. ZzzzzzZzzzzzZzzzz

Dear Sir Ericson and Lady Ericson
the good and bad of travels

Update # 21. Master Maximus has been doing well as of late. He has stopped throwing gold at the homeless and has started throwing copper in order to save money. Upon arriving to the capital it was a pleasure to see the two of you haven’t lost your touch on the field.
It was regretful to say that the festival and events made it more challenging to keep an eye on Master Maximus than i had anticipated, though this had cons it was good for him as well. he had acquired a job while in town working under a blacksmith. He’s even requested that i teach him the art of spell craft. It is wonderful to see him putting an effort into furthering himself.
However as there is the good there is also the bad. His drinking problem arises from time to time and now he’s found an acquaintance that shares in this. The two were almost eaten by a rather large spider when they decided to hunt. Though we found the two and immediately gave them medical attention. The blame falls to me for even letting him out that late. I’m considering applying a curfew….
Now before I conclude the events it pains me to say that I have failed you twice. In my absence while escorting Master [brother guy] for the two days, Master Maximus made a pact, one that would give him power but one that will undoubtedly corrupt him. I did what i could to reverse this sickness granted to him. I can’t say more then this in the letter for fear unwanted eyes may peer it and seek him out. I promise that i will spend my time to find him a cure.

The Most Important Person III
Would killing him now save the world? - Ed

So the dwarf and the half breed closed the bar down, we were travelling as a group, but then I recalled my pirate lady-friend who enjoys copious amounts of kinky sex, so I decide to split from the group to go to her place.

That was a mistake. I keep making those and it’s becoming tiring.

I noticed someone tailing me. After a minute I decide to confront her.

Another mistake.

There’s 11 others that all come from the shadows. I’m completely surrounded with little to no options. I begin trying to talk my way out of it. I find out that they’re slavers.

Note to self, should I manage to make it out of this alive, hun each of these filthy bastards down and kill them.

A couple ones around me begin disappearing. I have no idea what going on but I don’t like it.
I begin to panic. No guards are around and no civilians either. I’m too far away from my lady-friends house to call for her. The dwarf is far too gone to be of assistance should I holler for him. Crap…. I have to call for the half breed.

I do so, and of course they react violently by releasing a dozen arrows.

The arrows vanish. I ask warmonger if this be his doing and I hear laughter as a response.

The next 30 seconds is the most glorious event that I’ve ever witnessed. The remaining worms who thought to sell me as an item were dismembered. Throats were ripped out and one of them had a fist rip through his chest.

Unfortunately the events ended as suddenly as it started, due to a lack of bastards to rip apart. Standing before me was the terrifying pale one from the bar. He stands there covered in blood and he is like a god.

I request him to give me his abilities. He denies me.

I request again.

He he denies me again.

This goes on until the half breed shows up. They begin bickering. The pale one throws the half breed. Yes, I need to be able to do that. They continue bickering.

I proceed to loot the bastards. Found some magic gloves, Jeeves needs to look at these. Magic bag of no bottom, useful.

The pale one and the half breed are still bickering, so I go tell the half breed that he is not needed and I request that the pale one gve me strength.

Then I bow for that stubborn, god-like creature. Something that I’ve never willingly done before. All the kings are fakes. But this creature is perfection. He eventually grants my wish. Bloody hell that hurts. Oh god I’m dying.

I awaken on the roof, to the pale one. Doesn’t tell me anything about what I’m capable of and screws off. I go to the inn and pass out under the bed. Better safe than sorry.

I awake to Jeeves opening the curtains. Bloody fucking hell that fucking burns! I flip the bed up, much lighter than I though it was. Jeeves seems pissed and storms off. The lights uncomfortable.

He storms back in and screams at me for awhile. He’s being rather unreasonable about this whole thing. He storms away again. I go to sleep.

I awaken to some bastard cutting my gut open. Up side, not bleeding. Down side, my intestines are now outestines. This is likely Jeeves fault some how. I attempt to dislocate his shoulder. Clearly not strong enough yet.

Jeeves and the short one show up. Yell at me for awhile, bastard mcslicey leaves after Jeeves promises to fix me. I attempt to sleep. Wake to the half breed screaming in my face. If I could I would’ve had a heart attack. Threatens to throw me outside. Getting real tired of this shit.

Everyone calms down, we decide to attempt to fix me.

On our walk to the temple we run into the little one. I don’t feel like explaining it to him, he seems like he’d explode, don’t want to deal with that.

Then a man lands in the centre of our group. It’s quite the show but really I’m quite tired and hungry and want to get Jeeves stupid little experiment out of the way. Turns out that the man is a god of vampires. Gives me a trinket to hide from mcslicey. Useful. Doesn’t tell me anything about how to do things and proceeds to explode away.

We head to the church. Joy.

Upon arrival, I begin praying to Jeeves’ god for him to be able to accept this reborn form of mine.

The short one seems worried, I tell him not to worry about it. Clearly that means something else to dwarves because he gets really worried. He’ll live.

We proceed to do the stupid ritual. I wouldn’t object to ripping this mans arm off and beating him with it but I resist the urge.

Doesn’t work. Shocking.

I ask Jeeves for some blood because he’s capable of healing himself, seemed logical.
He’s a dick about it.

The little one says he knows some scum bag who deserves to die. We head out.

We plan to be sneaky about it but we see the man is attack some poor woman. We kick open the door and rush in. I aim to cut the back of his knee as he reaches for his cross bow but I accidentally cut his leg off. Getting used to this still.

I have to turn away from the man, resist the blood. Wait till the lady’s gone. Dwarf stops the noise. Everyone’s gone. I feed.

I feel sick as I stumble away from the man. Not sure if he’s dead, going to be either way. He was scum, why do I care. Everything a bit of a blur right now. The little one gives me some cloth to hide the blood. We head to a little lack. Stepping in I don’t feel the cold. I attempt to get the blood out of my clothes while talking to the little one about becoming vigilantes.
Jeeves! This is your job!

He attempts to show me how to wash my clothes. I attempt to learn and eventually got bored and begin floating around. Still feel sick. Note to self, hold back next time. I laugh to myself as I decide to mess with the little one. I challenge him to a breathe holding contest. At least I can amuse myself.

We head back to the inn. I pray then begin meditating to clear my head. Unfortunately there’s someone in my room now. Apparently it’s warmonger. Interesting. He says that he’s bored so he’s starting a damn war. Jeeves is going to blame me. Then he brands me….. I might acquire more tattoos, this looks cool.

Morning, Jeeves is a dick. We learn some dragon shit. I’m too tired for this shit. I remember war, I inform Jeeves. Dwarf storms in shouting at me. He needs to calm down. Little one starts talking dragon, he seems surprised with himself. Dwarf wants to learn dragon too. Crap this is a long morning.

The Most Important Person II
Impotent maybe - Ed

I hate spiders.

I grew tired of the events, so I told the little one that we were leaving. He listened. He’s turning into a good subject. So we leave the city, taking my horse out for a run, it was nice being away from the city.

It dawned on me that I continue to rely on Jeeves for coin and it’s becoming quite annoying. I suggest to the little one that we perhaps hunts some rabbit, make a small income of the furs. He happily agrees and pulls out his bow.

This is where I made my mistake. We found a bush that was moving, and instead of taking the necessary time required to locate any trackings, I sent the little one in first. It was no rabbit.

I hate spiders.

I’m going to murder every spider.

Jeeves and the short one arrive to save us. I hate spiders.

We go to a church to try and save our muscles from the venom in our systems. I hate spiders.

I proceed to be difficult likely for the sake of being difficult, I can’t remember the actual reasoning. During so the king of pyrn walked by. Seems like a fine fellow as he gives me a swig of alcohol. Perhaps I’ll grace is lands with my presence.

We head to a bar to lick our wounds. Unfortunately an Orc is there. He approaches us and the short one leaves. I can’t blame him. The little one is already sliding under the table to hide as well. I do nothing. I know that others will think I’m racist if I strike first. He strikes me, I forgot how wounded I was and everything goes black. I awake to a brawl, thankful I don’t feel the need to pay for this chaos, I didn’t swing first.

I attempt to drink a potion to heal my wounds, however; I’m stopped by the little one. I feel my wounds starting to feel better. Apparently he has the ability to heal his companions. I recall the spider and I begin picturing the little one covered with arrows.

It doesn’t soothe my rage and I begin threatening him. The short one grabs both of us and drags us outside. My anger slowly fades as I realize just how useful the little one can be. Perhaps he’ll be my jester one day. I allow him to live.

The next day is painful, I attempt to force the rest of the venom out of my system. Failing that, I pray to warmonger for the strength to eradicate the spiders. After that I spend the day learning as much as I can about spiders.

The next day I feel much better. I thank warmonger, and work out for awhile. Afterwards I head to the library again. There I run into the little one. He still looks sore. We agree to eat dinner together later on.

In the evening I meet up with the little one as well as the short one. We’re eating and suddenly the little one sneezes lightening. He informs us that he worships dragons. And that’s how he has the healing abilities. I inform him that my god removed the venom in my system. He points out the lightening. In an attempt to not be outdone, I motion at the ground fruitlessly.

Nope. Shit happens. A lot of shit is happening. Vines rip through the floorboards and begin grappling everything within reach. The dwarf yells at me, in my panic I yell at warmonger.
Warmonger doesn’t like that.

The whole building moves. The little one sneezes again causing me to trip and fall out the door. I’m pretty far up. I suppose that potion of spiderclimb in my bag would be usef… Oh here comes the dwarf. He attempts to slow us, he’s failing. I think he might have got us both killed. The grounds getting close. Oh good he’s going to use himself.

It’s a painful landing but we’re both alive. I help the short one out of the way then out of his armour. Probably some cracked ribs on him but I lack Jeeves ability to heal. Wait, where the bloody hell has Jeeves been?! I’m going to have a word with him when I see him. The half breed shows up and attempts to cut down the bean stalk, but it pulls itself back into the earth. The halfling is clinging to his dog for dear life, clearly scared. The half breed motions for us to follow. I don’t feel like going to jail so I follow.

We arrive at a shady bar. The dwarf is drinking himself stupid.

A terrifying person appears, white as a ghost and covered with weaponry. Apparently he knows someone who could tell me what the fuck just occurred. He declines. I’m terrified of the man but I push the issue. He offers to kill me. I think I’ll pass.

The dwarf and half breed drink till the place closes and we all head out.

I hate spiders.


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