A Light in the Dark

Jern Staalbred: Journal - Pt 6.
In which we prove too scary for the undead

A few days pass, without anything of note happening. However, on the 3rd evening, we come across a bonfire in the distance. Encounter a couple sitting by it. Another of the tree legs, and a cloaked…. Someone. They don’t immediately kill us, so that’s a plus.

We make introductions and settle in by the fire. One of the tree-legs decides to start lopping down the burning tree. Aiming it directly at us. Don’t think any of the others picked up on that fact, including the one with the axe. Hustled everyone out of the way.

A little later on the night, a grouping of tall silhouettes appears in the fog. Big spiny-finger bastards who smell of rot and attack us out of nowhere.

Their fingers hurt. Especially inside me.

Hurt them back. Specifically around the leg bits, what with them being over 7 feet tall. If I wasn’t wearing my stone armor, people could probably see my sweet ass runic tattoos glowing as I activated my abilities, reinvigorating the tree-leg I met with earlier, and crushing joints left and right.

Amazingly, for undead fuckers, these things sure chickened out early, running away with their extending fingers between their legs.

They dead.

The group starts rummaging about and lopping off limbs for decorations. Strange folk.

Princess Floofy Pants finally made herself known to the group. Apparently she warmed up Much faster to this motley lot. Hopefully we get out of these woods soon, I haven’t seen a stone for 3 days under all the detritus, and I still have no idea why I’m even here. This can’t have been a simple accident, can it?

Jern Staalbred: Journal - Pt 5.
When the hells am I?

Some time has occurred. Tailing some people. Went to a house to check out some illicit happenings. A SCREAM. The halfling went charging in. Into the door. Which said no. Got a couple of people to come to the door and let us in though. For a certain value of “let us in”. Halfling charged in properly this time, and the two turned to go after him with their weapons. Went to fix that, and suddenly stuff went topsy turvy. Bright lights, and suddenly there’s a couple of people fighting some kind of lizard cat thing. And there’s fog. Inside the house? The confusion sets in.

One of the arseholes who let us in was trying to get up. Put him back down. The guy who was being attacked by the cat thing turns into a werewolf. I suppose technically was already a werewolf. Changes to wolf form? Something like that.

NOW I put him down.

Sound of an explosion, followed by the scent of death and brimstone. Something pops into the room and then drops a ball of shadow. More fighting continues inside it, but I can’t see that. I step back to prepare for anything that steps forth. Suddenly a huge human comes charging and screaming down the hill behind me.

The charger kills the rat.

Lots of discussion over who gets what parts. I think. No one speaks anything I know, but whatever it is they’re saying is at least similar enough to Shiekish that I can get by.

Found out that 46 years have passed since I followed Dennik through that door. The Shiek is gone. Lots of talk of Mage Cabals taking over the continent and splitting it up into Mage-run territories run by a single king.

It’s for some reason been determined that we’re going to go into the Mistwood. A forest no one returns from. Ever. Who needs good ideas anyways?

We found a campsite. More talk. 5 years ago, a fog crept over the land. Day/night is dull. A dragon may or may not be the cause of this.

Dennik, what’ve you gotten me into.

The most important person V?

We’re running through the fields, on my horse. It’s beautiful out. The halfling is on his dog.
Clouds roll in.
Thunder roars.
The halfling is gone! What’s going on?! Oh god spiders are all over me! My horse is a spider?!? What?! Oh god webs everywhere. It’s going dark!

I hear noise. What’s happening? The webs ripped open. It’s a vampire! He’s a bat with a human head?! What the shit!?!?!! Oh god I’m being bit.
I kill the spiders! Yes! They squeal and beg for mercy! I give none. I enslave them all. I am now king of all. I feel good.
They bring me baby’s. They’re tasty. Jeeves yells at me from his cage. He’s unhappy but alive. Yay.
Something’s wrong.

Jern Staalbred: Journal - Pt 4
Dances and Draconics

Lessons are over. Vereth was sent off to play merchant with Maximorgue’s leftovers. Reverse merchant? Either way. Scraps for cash. Guess I get to play nanny with the sleepy baby-nibbler. Spend some more time working on my Draconic. God this language is phallic.

After an hour or so, Vereth comes back, with presents. He got me a rock suit. Identical to the one I’ve been wearing for the last decade or so. Good taste that one. His ward less so. Bats. Twat.

He got Dannik a bird suit. By the stone I hope I never understand why.

The evening approaches, and after getting dressed in our whatnots, we sod off.

The Masquerade! We get inside. Shinies and explosions, cause Batmorgue wants to make an impression. Everyone looks disgusted with him. Mission successful.

I take my leave of the lot to make my rounds, greetings, general niceties.

While I’m gone, hookings up, and dances have. Much interesting, so wiggle. It’s a shame I’m not there to report on the going ons.

Head over to the confectionary table, as I figure some snacks will keep Princess Floofy Pants happy. I also opt to fashion her a little mask and dress from the wrappers. Apparently she’s keen on that.

What the hell is wrong with me.

As I made my way towards the bar, Elta came over and questioned the ecoutrements. I explained Princess Floofy Pants and the rest of the situation, and introduced Dannik when he came over.

Elta and I spend some time catching up, before I hear the distinct sound of flesh hitting idiot twice. Dennik and the Bat are holding their cheeks, looking confused. I head over.

Maxibro is there, introducing himself to Vivianne. Bellazar Ericson. Unsurprisingly, the bat is making a twat of himself.

His Mum called him by his FULL name. He is in TROOOOOOUUUUUUUUBLE. So is Dennik when he opens his mouth and espouses stupid. Ooh shit, I think Maggsie is scared. He just downed his wine. Like a real person would. Maximom expresses her disdain for the way her spawn are acting in the halls of the King and Queen.

The idiot attempts to attack Vereth, and has his attempt knocked out of the air by his mother.

She hires me on to watch over her idiot. For moneys.

As she’s about to wander off, Batmorgue proclaims his pride in his tattoo. This pleases No one, and she gets in his face about it.

After she leaves, Vereth continues to express disdain, and lashes out at Vivianne? Bugger’s a salty drunk.

I opt for the bathroom, in which I have been writing this. Why have I spent the last 10 minutes in here writing in a journal? Maybe Princess Floofy Pants is having a stronger effect on me then I imagined. She did mention something about my having the soul of a lost sister inside me..

No, she’s just a weapon with a penchant for spouting nonsense. Me writing in a journal and dressing up a warhammer is certainly situational.

It Has to be.

super hero part 2
Its a good day

How did i only make it that far in a drinking contest Like it i was only 5 rounds i can handle more then that, but i guess my hand eye was a little off and i decided to destroy the cup that i was holing…. Not only that i watched the god dwarf lose at drinking. honestly what the hell is going on this human comes and sits in front of us and out drinks the dwarf. Not only that i honestly think she broke her own cup after jern was out just to mess with him. not wise nooooooooot wise if you ask me.

uhhh now im here in a dark depressing room alone…. ha not really brekas in the other room vomiting. All of that aside i wonder whats going to happen after tonight i mean the tournaments over and the banquets about to be over aswell. Im hoping that we can all continue this adventure im getting really sick of this town and iv been wanting to explore to find a few things out my self. Heres to wishing and praying to a new begging


super hero part 1

So some things happend and i feel like i might need to keep track of stuff because of A, I almost died to spiders and B, well ill get to that. So it was a normal night of me and Breka going at it but i think she was trying to Breka me hehe… Anyhow I noticed the guys out side so I decided to join everyone. Everything seemed alright but i was getting A weird feeling from Maximan, not that its unnormal for me to feel that way around him but it was a little different this time.

So after a while of walking this guy dose this earth shattering super person knee landing at this point i think im going to die but thanks to god dwarf I felt pretty safe. After a while of blah blah enjoy what i have placed in your body talk this person just pisses off befor he could teach me how to do what he just did….. not alright in my books but what ever. O and did i say that maxipads a ever loving vampire no!. For a little bit their I just thought he wanted me with those lustful eyes of his but kind of glad it wasn’t that

After all that Bs happend for some reason everyone thought, hey it would be a good idea to turn him back even tho it was gonna be a waste of time….called it, But they tried and failed. Ofcorse after it didn’t work we tried to figure out the next problem of who is he gonna get blood from, i voted the (helper) but nooooo everyone looked at the half ling, so I came up with a better idea. Turns out i was able to recommend a scum bag named Bilum, he was never really catch him in the act but everyone knew he was killing young girls in town.

Jern and the helper decided to stay back while me and maximan went on in, it was for the best me and him can be alot more sneaky . Soon when we got to the window we noticed Bilums true colors so we swooped on in a removed his leg :D. Honestly I dont think we handled the situation their right but it felt good, we really should of took him in but whats in the past is in the past.

After all that we kind of just hung out for a little bit and it was alright but what really happend was the birth of a new story . One that will go back in the history books and thats the legend of the vampire, god dwarf, halfing and the help.

Npc mode journal

i taught, i cleaned, i plotted things and then i slept. no one died so this seems like a good day to me

Vereth Tre’Mar

Jern Staalbred: Journal - Pt 3.5
Remember to never do this again.

The Drinking contest occurs, but I don’t recall anything about it right now. That doesn’t happen often, so it must have gone well. Some other things happen. Things about Waampire making babies and horses cry. Definitely a good start to this whole “No guys, I’ll totes be a GOOD vampire” thing.

Morning came. Got woken up by Vereth slamming on the door. Did not appreciate that. Had to learn to appreciate it pretty quick, as it was time for Dragon talky. Lots of talky. Vrakginas and resdickstaraunts. Draconic is weird.

Talk of eating rats and not eating things that aren’t rats occur. Maximorgue wants us to expose ourselves to him to test his restraint. I’m not keen. Vereth isn’t keen. We’re doing it anyways?

Feed the hammer some candy cause this will NEVER GET OLD.

Just noticed that the next 2 pages of my journal were torn out. Searched for them in my backpack. Kind of wish I hadn’t..

The day of the drinking contest occurs. Spend the morning eating plenty of carbs. We all get sat lined up against each others. Dannik got sat down beside me. Sitting across from Talladam in his splash zone. Made sure my shield was within arm’s reach. Some lady in full plate sits down next to him. Imbibing commences.

Dannik lasts longer’n I expected.

Notice Maximom and Maxidad partaking of the competition, with another lad who looks like them. I point this out to Dannik, who uses his voice in another man to confirm that yeah, Maxibleah has a brother.

More drinks!

More people are fallling out. Light wieghts. Whatever their giving us is pretty tastey.


Hrak an ella ar out of rth compreptinn. HAHA, I”m stillllllllllllllllll fien.,

Magsimomm iss puddig hre familly to shme.

I’ma keep goon tho.

Tha matal ladie mussta bein porin hrs unner aa tabel

Maggsi issssssss dun.

Stillll 7 ohtr ppole ininn tha cobbibntentin.




O wlll.

CALALALEDD the alementress oat onn har ballshet.. SEH SED IAM A PIGGSIE.


The rest of it was completely unintelligible. Now I understand why I can’t remember any of that.

The Most Important Person IV

So a new thing I noticed is that I am incapable of sleeping in. That’s quite annoying, especially with Jeeves’ morning lessons leaving me exhausted afterwards. Oh well I suppose.
I decide to go for a stroll. Jeeves turned down my offer and the dwarf has plans already. I’m on my own it appears.
It appears to not be that way, Jeeves is following me. Apparently I’m untrustworthy. I decide to slip into an alley way and try I scale a building. Tonight is not my night. The rope slips but I catch myself on a window.
My word, she’s absolutely gorgeous. I’m flushed for a second before I compose myself. That’s when she decided to throw crap at me. I apologize to the lovely creature before I attempt sliding down the building.
Tonight is clearly not my night. I go through the window below. There’s an infant crying. I could feed, but Jeeves would literally have my head. Time to leave.
Tonight is not my night. I hit the far wall of the alley. Still adjusting to my strength.
Jeeves clearly saw all of it. We hurry away. I wonder if the lady will be at the ball tomorrow night, oh that’d be splendid. Anywho, back to the important events of the night.
I finally remembered to show Jeeves the items I looted from the bastards who tried to sell me. I have gauntlets that increase my strength. Apparently all of my strength isn’t just my transformation. That’s a tad upsetting but oh well. I also acquired horseshoes that can levitate my horse.
Crap. I have a horse. I should take him out, he must be terribly cooped up in there. I tell Jeeves that I’d like to take my horse out and he agrees. As I walk into the stables, the animals freak out. That’s upsetting, I enjoy animals. Oh good, mine is calm. This will make things easy.
I take him out. I plan for an hour, it is late and I’d rather not push him, but he seems ok so we end up riding for an extra half hour. I put him away and proceed to wander around town.
There are drunks staggering through the streets, but no one seeming to be deserving of death. Where’s the little one when I need him. Ugh. Jeeves would be pissed if I resorted to a homeless man right now. Looks like I’m testing out animals. Joy.
Tonight is not my night. I found a rat. My god it was fucking disgusting. I’d rather slit my own throat than do that again. Wait… I could slit my throat now. Hmmm, I wonder if I could pull out my own heart. Now these are the important questions. Where was I, oh yes. Rats are terrible. I need to learn to control myself around blood, that way homeless people wouldn’t have to die, I’d simply mix something together to knock them out, then bleed them an bandage them up. I’m stronger than them so it would have to be a recipe that barely puts them out so as to not effect me.
Perhaps Jeeves will help.
Morning class again. My god this is rough. But the dwarf appears worse so I’ve got that at least. I manage to tell Jeeves that we need chains before I sleep.
Ahhhh sleep.
Wait. The balls tonight. Bah, Jeeves knows what I’d like to wear, he’s always been there. He’s a good friend. ZzzzzzZzzzzzZzzzz

Dear Sir Ericson and Lady Ericson
the good and bad of travels

Update # 21. Master Maximus has been doing well as of late. He has stopped throwing gold at the homeless and has started throwing copper in order to save money. Upon arriving to the capital it was a pleasure to see the two of you haven’t lost your touch on the field.
It was regretful to say that the festival and events made it more challenging to keep an eye on Master Maximus than i had anticipated, though this had cons it was good for him as well. he had acquired a job while in town working under a blacksmith. He’s even requested that i teach him the art of spell craft. It is wonderful to see him putting an effort into furthering himself.
However as there is the good there is also the bad. His drinking problem arises from time to time and now he’s found an acquaintance that shares in this. The two were almost eaten by a rather large spider when they decided to hunt. Though we found the two and immediately gave them medical attention. The blame falls to me for even letting him out that late. I’m considering applying a curfew….
Now before I conclude the events it pains me to say that I have failed you twice. In my absence while escorting Master [brother guy] for the two days, Master Maximus made a pact, one that would give him power but one that will undoubtedly corrupt him. I did what i could to reverse this sickness granted to him. I can’t say more then this in the letter for fear unwanted eyes may peer it and seek him out. I promise that i will spend my time to find him a cure.


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